Media  New York Post, Page Six, November 23, 2008

THE authors of "The Rules" have come up with a new list of them for Jennifer Aniston, who they say is still heart broken over losing Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie and needs to move on from John Mayer - pronto. "Breaking up is never easy, but it doesn't have to be humiliating," Ellen Fein, who wrote the chick bible with Sherrie Schneider, told Page Six. Their tips for Aniston: "Never mention Brad's or John Mayer's name in public. Also, don't say any thing bad about him ("he's missing a sensitivity chip"). Never talk about Angelina or call her "uncool," even if she was uncool. She does not exist in your world. Never date a man or take a man back who humiliated you publicly or held a press conference to explain your breakup. Go to parties where there are lots of single men and ask everyone you know to set you up. You're going to be 40 soon. You have no time to waste if you want kids." from the New York Post

Rules to Tell if He's Just Not That Into You!

1. He's not that into you if he doesn't make the first move.
2. He's not that into you if he doesn't answer your online ad.
3. He's not that into you if he doesn't call you or text you or e-mail you for a date.
4. He's not that into you if he doesn't ask you out by Wednesday for Saturday night.
5. He's not that into you if he only wants to see you during the week.
6. He's not that into you if he ends the date first.
7. He's not that into you if he asks you to split the check.
8. He's not that into you if he expects you to meet him half way or travel to him in a long-distance relationship.
9. He's not that into you if he cancels a date more than once.
10. He's not that into you if he doesn't ask you to be exclusive after sex and/or a couple of months.
11. He's not that into you if he hits on your girlfriend.
12. He's not that into you if he forgets your birthday.
13. He's not that into you if he doesn't give you a romantic gift for Valentine's Day.
14. He's not that into you if he skips a week.
15. He's not that into you if he doesn't want to meet your parents and friends.
16. He's not that into you if he doesn't want to spend New Year's eve with you.
17. He's not that into you if he doesn't take you to his office holiday party.
18. He's not that into you if he doesn't write "love" on cards or hold your hand at the movies.
19. He's not that into you if he breaks up with you.
20. He's not that into you if he talks about his ex.
21. He's not that into you if he doesn't want to have sex.
22. He's not that into you if he doesn't propose.
23. He's not that into you if he proposes but won't set a wedding date.
24. He's not that into you if he wants to vacation separately or spend a lot of time apart.
25. He's not that into you if he's married to someone else!
 

Rules for Jennifer Aniston (and Any Woman Getting Over an Ex)

Dear Jennifer or can we call you our Friend?

We love you. We love "Friends" and every movie you have ever been in! We love your hair, your tan, your cargo pants, your tanks with the bra straps showing, your flip flops and designer bags, and just about everything you wear.

But we don't love your love life! We feel really badly about the whole Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie and John Mayer thing and want to help you!

So we wrote these 10 Rules for you and any woman getting over an ex. We believe that there are many women, both rich and famous like you or average and anonymous like our clients, who need Rules for Dealing with Ex-boyfriends and Ex-husbands. It's sad when an ex moves on quickly with a second wife and children, while the first wife ends up alone talking about her ex to friends (or being written up in the tabloids)!

Breaking up is never easy, but it doesn't have to be humiliating! It will never be pain-free but it can be much less hurtful if you follow The Rules for Getting Over An Ex ! OK, Jen, good luck!

1. Never mention Brad's or John's name ever in public. If Oprah or Vogue asks you about them, look dazed as if to say "Brad who?" but just say "next question" and smile. Also, don't say anything bad about him ("he's missing a sensitivity chip") or good ("I'm really proud of Brad..."). We mean nothing, nada! You said on Oprah that the whole thing is "100 years old" so why are you still talking about it? Your divorce was three years ago, so next! No comment is no comment. Even Oprah said her "biggest regret was talking about Stedman!" Copy Oprah, even if she is the one prying into your love life!
 

2. Never talk about Angeline Jolie (the other woman, girls!) either or call her "uncool," even if she was uncool or set the ball rolling with her comment in the press. She does not exist in your world. Your world is Courtney and Owen Wilson or whoever your co-star is at the moment, your mother and the current man in your life, hopefully not John Mayer.
 

3. Instead of allowing the media to use you for sensational quotes, use them to plug your movie and flash your millionaire-dollar smile! When photographers come around, look as happy as Jada Pinkett. Never let them see you angry, hurt or crying.
 

4. Form a weekly Rules support group with Reese Witherspoon, Uma Thurman, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry and any other actress/star who successfully got over her ex and moved on so you can do the same. Practice possible Q&As with the press where you say "no comment!"
 

5. Never date a man or take a man back who humiliated you publicly or held a press conference to explain your break up.
 

6. Do talk about your next movie Marley and Me and/or exactly how you get that glow (what self-tanner do you use? do tell...we're all dying to know!) and that yoga body to die for.
 

7. Do talk about your hair, what products you use and how it's blown out. Let's be real...we all want your hair!
 

8. Do talk about any charities you are involved with so we and all your fans can donate money to the cause.
 

9. Do talk about your reconciliation with your mom. We would love to know what happened and if Oprah or Dr. Phil was involved.
 

10. Instead of hanging with Courtney and David all the time, go to parties where there are lots of single men and ask everyone you know to set you up. If you weren't so famous, we would tell you to post your ad/photo on match.com. You're going to be 40 soon--happy birthday, by the way, you look much younger!--so you have no time to waste if you want kids!

xoxo

Sherrie & Ellen

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